Category: Satire, Parody, and Other Things I Use Incorrectly

Probably why you came here.

Summer Makes Me Think of Cold War Propaganda

On the 4th of July, several of us got together to grill out. We took it as a “cheat day” and sat aside our healthy eating plans for a day of chili dogs and pie. And more chili dogs. And more pie. And yet,…

Los Angeles and Road Rage Are Like PB&J

Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch’entrate. Abandon all hope, ye who enter. -Dante Alighieri’s proposal for a freeway entrance sign I’m sitting in traffic on the 101 trying to get to work. “Traffic” isn’t really the right word. “Traffic” implies some type of locomotion. I am…

I Need a Throne of Skulls

I Need A Throne of Skulls I need a throne of skulls. It’s that obvious. How is a man of my temperament supposed to operate in this day and age without a throne of skulls? It’s ridiculous to think that I could be the…

Working for David Lynch

I work for David Lynch. Like faith in God or the existence of UFO’s, I believe this to be true despite the lack of any evidence. Let me describe my work week to you.