A Message from the Promotional Arm of Hodson Enterprises

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Whatever you do, do it with all your might. Work at it, early and late, in season and out of season, not leaving a stone unturned, and never deferring for a single hour that which can be done just as well now. 
-PT Barnum
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What an asshole.
-Some clown on the topic of PT Barnum
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There are a multitiude of things that I’m not good at, yet very few that I feel exceptionally horrible at attempting. This is an unique level of failure I’m talking about here, not normal, every day, run of the mill suckage.  It’s one thing to leave streaks on the floor when mopping or burn the bottom of some almond flour cookies. It’s another to, I don’t know, burn your house down while trying to wash dishes.
That’s a long story and you don’t really need to know it, so let’s move on.
On this list of activities that I am really, truly bad at, I would label my top five as follows:
(1) Dancing
(2) Working on cars
(3) Networking
(4) Promoting my work
(5) Brain surgery
Again, number 5 is a long story and I don’t see that it’s any of your business.
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It was just one of those nights, okay? Leave it.

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Number 2 simply comes from having no exposure to the process while growing up. On a side note, why isn’t everyone forced to take auto mechanics in high school? There are a number of classes I was made to take that I never, EVER use, like Geometry or Pre-Calculus. But if I could work on my own car, I’d save thousands of dollars a year. Thanks, education system, for wasting formative years of my life on useless crap.
I could make a joke about number 1 being because I’m white, but no one ever realizes that such jokes aren’t really jokes as they stopped being funny in 1976. So I’ll just say I never learned how to do anything more than that John Travolta hip pop while pointing a finger at an imaginary Pterodactyl flying overhead and leave it at that.
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The cover to John Travolta’s album. Seriously.

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Now, number 3 is one that I really, really regret. As a writer, I NEED to be able to network. I need to simply and effectively pitch a script to a producer at a party or get a Big Name Author to blurb my work. Yet I feel like an asshole for pushing myself on people and ultimately would rather stand by the punch bowl and joke about how the caramel cookies on the tray look like Siamese twin versions of Dick Cheney attached at the skull than go try to bug someone under a false and flimsy pretense to read my work. Unfortunately, people who have this skill are usually pretty successful. They don’t have to have any other talent whatsoever and can get their work out there. This is why most movies suck.

Well, and this.

Which brings us to Skill Number 4 that I am disgustingly horrible at: promoting my own work. Like networking, this is a necessary component to a life in the arts. And yet I can never get past the disconnect I feel when trying to get people to check out my work. Rather than recognzing it as an important and integral part of the entire process, I always feel like I’m giving the hard sell. It doesn’t help that at any given time my Facebook and email Inboxes are flooded with poorly written missives begging me to look at someone’s short film of them kicking their cousin Barry in the junk or of someone’s self-published novel that, judging from the spelling and grammar in their email, is more than likely unreadable. I don’t want to be lost in this sea of mediocrity any more than I want to irritate anyone by trying to convince them to buy MY work.
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C’est la vie. (That’s French for “shit sucks, yo.”)
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But these are hangups that, while not unique to me, are experienced by many writers and are fought against and usually overcome. At least for the successful ones.
Ergo, I will now shill my wares. (See how I did that? Lured you in by discussing how I don’t want to do this and then did it anyway? There’s a Latin term for that. I think it’s “doofus.”) I don’t feel too bad about it as I take great pride in my work and think that you’ll actually enjoy it.
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BLOOD LITE 3: AFTERTASE
Penguin
  The third volume in the best-selling series of comedic horror, BLOOD LITE 3 includes stories by Jim Butcher, Kelly Armstrong, Heather Graham, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Christopher Golden, and a host of others. Edited by NY Times Bestselling author Kevin J. Anderson (the Dune series), BLOOD LITE 3 was put together with the Horror Writers Association.
It also contains my story “Two For Transylvania,” a Hope and Crosby reimagining of DRACULA.
Yeah, you read that right.
Available wherever books are sold.
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HORROR FOR GOOD
Cutting Block Press
This charity anthology from Cutting Block Press gives all of its proceeds to amFar to fund AIDS research, so that in and of itself makes it worthwhile.
But let’s not stop there. This book also features stories by Jack Ketchum, Ramsey Campbell, F. Paul Wilson, Joe R. Lansdale, and many, many more. It’s also been getting excellent reviews, many of which are kind enough to call out my story “The Other Patrick.”
HORROR FOR GOOD is available on Amazon for both print and for the Kindle. Check it out: http://www.amazon.com/Horror-For-Good-Charitable-Anthology/dp/1475065361/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1337478186&sr=8-2
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SLICES OF FLESH
Dark Moon Books
SLICES OF FLESH is another charity anthology, this one filled with flash fiction. For those who aren’t familiar with the form, flash fiction are very short stories meant to be read in one sitting. This particular anthology consists of stories by Ramsey Campbell, Gary Braunbeck, Jack Ketchum, Brian Keene, and a ton of other folks.
My story, “Breathe,” recently had an audio version recorded and broadcast on epsiode 18 of the “Tales to Terrify” podcast. Check it out: http://talestoterrify.com/category/podcast/
(Also available on ITunes)
Did I mention that the cover art is by HELLBOY creator Mike Mignola?
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Coming up soon, I’ll post the cover art from my new novel DARLING (due out this year from Bad Moon Books) as well as a little excerpt.
Thanks for listening to me huck my stuff. I feel better already…
Got any promotional concerns, questions, advice? Lord knows I don’t, so post below and maybe we can all learn a thing or two.
Automotive advice is also appreciated, especially if anyone knows why my car makes a loud “thump” whenever I start or stop abruptly and then whispers to me to “get out.” It’s getting kind of creepy.
Brad C. Hodson is a writer living in Los Angeles. His stories have appeared in anthologies alongside Neil Gaiman, Chuck Palahniuk, George RR Martin, and many more of his literary heroes. For a listing of his literary and film work, please check out his Bibliography at https://brad-hodson.com/bibliography/ 
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About Brad C. Hodson

I'm a writer living in LaLa Land. You may have read some of my fiction or seen a film I've written. If you're into horror, you may have stumbled across some of my darker work or dealt with me as the Administrator for the Horror Writers Association. Or you've probably never heard of me. That seems the likeliest.

View all posts by Brad C. Hodson

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One Comment on “A Message from the Promotional Arm of Hodson Enterprises”

  1. Petra Says:

    You do pretty damn well, networking wise. You lured me in alright – you had me at the skull pic. 🙂 But I gotta agree with you – I’d rather feel up the punch bowl myself, before trying to squeeze out some words about my work. In any case, I’ll be checking out Bloodlite 3. Great blog, made me laugh out loud in a whole slew of places. 😉

    Reply

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