Summer Makes Me Think of Cold War Propaganda

On the 4th of July, several of us got together to grill out. We took it as a “cheat day” and sat aside our healthy eating plans for a day of chili dogs and pie. And more chili dogs. And more pie.

Ya know, typical 4th.

And yet, as fun as it was, it didn’t quite feel like Independence Day. Sure, this was how most of America celebrated the 4th, but we needed more. We needed something to put us in the spirit. We needed some goddamned patriotism.

We needed “Rocky IV.”

Unbridled Awesomeness.

If you’re not a child of the eighties (or if you’ve simply forgotten about Rocky IV), it is possibly the cheesiest of the Rocky sequels.

And that’s saying alot.

And yet, when it was released, this was a movie that all of America fell in behind. It couldn’t be ignored. It couldn’t be forgotten. It had to be watched multiple times as a reminder that we, the United States, were the heroes of the Cold War.

Films like “Rocky IV” instantly make me think of summertime. We’d come in from a long, hard day of playing outside (which, to those of you younger than me, was an archaic activity that we partook in until video games and the internet came along) and plop down in front of the television with an ice cold lemonade to watch two grown men pummel each other senseless.

Or explode the shit out of each other.

Before we go any further, let me say that I LOVE the Rocky franchise. If you’ve never seen it (or have also forgotten about it), go back and watch the first “Rocky”. It is hands down one of the best American films of the twentieth century. The sequels, however…

Well, let’s start with the opening of Rocky IV. First off, Rocky has just defeated Clubber Lang (played by the versatile Mr. T) and cemented a new friendship with his former foe / current trainer, Apollo Creed. Rocky goes home for his brother-in-law Paulie’s birthday where he reveals the present he purchased for Paulie.

A robot.

I shit you not.

Cut to Apollo throwing tennis balls into a pool for no discernible reason (or maybe I wasn’t paying close attention at this point) when his poolside television (which was honestly playing a fried chicken commercial as we cut into the scene) reveals that the Soviets have decided to enter pro-boxing. True to stereotypically evil form, they dis American boxers and reveal their boxing protégé, Ivan Drago, played as a Nazi wet dream by then-unknown Dolph Lundgren.

Oh, and did I mention this nutjob was in the film?

So Apollo, feeling past his prime, decides to take up the torch for the good ol’ USA and challenge Drago. Rocky tries to talk his friend out of the fight, but Apollo is intent on schooling the Commie. At their match, Drago is placed inside the ring, which is in the basement on an elevator. It lifts up onto the stage like King Kong being presented for the world.

Lundgren’s performance pales in comparison to Kong’s, however.

And then, with a hundred Solid Gold dancers around him, the Godfather of Soul himself comes out performing “Living in America.” As he does so, Apollo Creed is lifted onto the stage in front of a giant golden bull dressed as a version of Uncle Sam that apparently has also been suffering from economic strain and has taken up stripping as a side job.

We are reminded here of America’s excess, especially the coke-fueled excess of the eighties that flashdanced to Motley Crue while giving the finger to the Red Menace.

America. Fuck yeah.

Later, when Rocky travels to what looks like a Siberian farm to train like… well, a farmer, the stark difference between the two cultures is revealed .

Right…

Anyway, Drago kills Apollo and the rest of the movie turns into one never-ending music video as Rocky restores America’s honor and shows the Russian people (Gorbachev included) that there’s no beating good ol’ fashioned American heart.

Or stainless steel saws.

As Rocky sequels go, it’s one of the most popular. I personally prefer part 3 as far as cheese factor is concerned (I mean, come on: in part 3, Rocky fights Mr. T AND Hulk Hogan), and the first “Rocky” and “Rocky Balboa” are actually excellent films. But “Rocky IV” has that stamp on it that only Cold War-era propaganda can. For any of us who grew up during the Cold War, no matter how much our rational minds have changed and adapted to the world around us, there’s still a part of us that yearns for that “good versus evil” situation we as a country found ourselves in. We want the Big Red Menace to exist so that we have some height to rise to, some courageous test of our collective will as a nation to overcome.

It makes me think of another excellent piece of cinema verite’: RED DAWN.

This is what posters looked like in the eighties, kids.

Written and directed by John “I am fucking insane” Milius, “Red Dawn” (also known as “punainen vaara” in Iceland, if you cared), cast a veritable Who’s Who of upcoming superstars and tabloid headlines. It’s plot was one that seemed infinitely feasible in 1984: the Soviets invade the US. In a small Colorado town, a band of hard scrabble teenagers band together in the woods to form a resistance against the Soviet army.

And only this man could save us.

A remake of the film was recently done where they replaced the Soviets with the Chinese. Then someone realized we owe China trillions of dollars and went back and changed the Chinese to the North Koreans. Someone else then pointed out that this was really fucking stupid and the film was shelved.

(Note: Since I had first written this, some genius decided to go ahead and release the Red Dawn remake. It did not do well.)

Reconnaissance photo of the North Korean army.

The idea of a remake simply doesn’t work because we aren’t afraid of invasions anymore. There is no Big Bad in the world. Instead, we helped dismantle the Soviet Union, taking all of our enemies out of one centralized location and scattering them around the world while simultaneously destroying the only stop gag that existed to keep despotic ideologues from doing as they please. Oh, and let’s not forget all those Soviet weapons, including chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons that went missing after Communism died.

Great job, guys!

The world is a different place. Possibly a scarier one.

And maybe that’s the primary draw to me for these Cold War-era action films. Sure, there’s the cheese factor. But they also represent a certain innocence and naivety, which is what summer is about. They capture a time where, even if we thought the opposite, there was no real chance of the world blowing up. It was a perpetual stalemate and, color me silly, but I miss that.

Besides, Montage Scenes rule.

Brad C. Hodson is an author and screenwriter living in Los Angeles. His novel DARLING is currently available. You can find his other work here.

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About Brad C. Hodson

I'm a writer living in LaLa Land. You may have read some of my fiction or seen a film I've written. If you're into horror, you may have stumbled across some of my darker work or dealt with me as the Administrator for the Horror Writers Association. Or you've probably never heard of me. That seems the likeliest.

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7 Comments on “Summer Makes Me Think of Cold War Propaganda”

  1. Benjamin Kane Ethridge Says:

    I WILL BREAK YOU!!!! :)

    I always wanted one of those machines that Drago was using to measure the impact of his punches. Damn, need to get me one.

    Reply

  2. jodirlester Says:

    Don’t know how I could’ve missed Rock IV. Sounds like Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band w/testosterone. Love the bromance on the beach scenes. Added this to my viewing queue.

    Reply

  3. jodirlester Says:

    Don’t know how I missed Rocky IV. Sounds like Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band w/testosterone. Loved the bromance on the beach scenes. Added to my viewing queue.

    Reply

    • Brad C. Hodson Says:

      Oh, man! You HAVE to see it. Sgt Peppers is pretty hilariously atrocious as well.

      The beach bromance scenes are actually a flashback to Rocky 3, though. You also HAVE to watch Rocky 3.

      My edicts are non-negotiable.

      Reply

      • jodirlester Says:

        You don’t have to tell me twice. I think I stopped at Rocky II, so it looks like I’ll have a double feature on my hands.

        A funny little Stallone anecdote – a guy who worked at a Porsche dealership back then made told me that right after hitting it big with Rocky, Stallone came in and bought a slick new Porsche with all the fixings. His final request to really kick it up a notch was whitewall tires. Fail.

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